At 10:52 in the late morning of June 12, 2014 Jack Corbett scared the hell out of us. Us being me, Emily- a 26 year old first time mom, and my husband Jimmy. Jack had already been making us nervous towards the end of my pregnancy. At 34 weeks I was diagnosed with cholestasis. For two more weeks I was itchy and miserable, and if my baby boy wasn’t kicking me in the spot he always did I was wondering if he was still okay in there (stillbirth was the scariest risk of my diagnosis.) After two weeks of hell, I broke up with my midwife because I knew the home birth I had been planning and dreaming of my whole pregnancy wasn’t going to happen, and I asked my backup doctor (who I loved, and still love) to induce me at 36 weeks. It was definitely risky being induced that early, but it was more of a risk to me to carry Jack until 40 weeks. After trying to get me into labor for a full day, actually being in labor for half a day, and pushing for ten minutes, our baby boy was finally here. And then he wasn’t. He went straight from inside of me to the NICU team that was waiting in my room. Jack came out not breathing and without a heartbeat. When I looked over to finally see what this baby boy looked like, it was too scary to look and I quickly turned away. It took about a minute for Jack’s heart to start beating and lungs to get going- best moment of my life doesn’t even begin to cover it. After an uncomfortable argument about where Jack should go next, my doctor convinced the NICU team that Jack would be okay enough to lay on my chest for a few minutes. There are just no words for that moment. You mamas know. Since then, Jack hasn’t left my side and seven months later he loves to sit and play, take baths, listen to his dad play guitar, smile, laugh, and babble up a storm (now with strangers in stores, which is really making me revisit my small talk skills. But did I ever really have any?)
I’ve been drawn to the idea of blogging since Jack was born for a few different reasons- the big one being sisterhood, and the bond all mothers share. I loved when I still had my bump exchanging smiles with a stranger also expecting, or just a look that seemed to communicate understanding and encouragement. Now with my babe outside the womb, it’s the idea that no matter what choices we all make as mothers we all want the same thing: a happy, healthy baby. Blogging seems like another great way to explore that sisterhood and community of us moms. Some of the other reasons why this appeals to me so much are mainly for my own personal agenda- a different way to document these days, and I simply just love to talk about anything and everything motherhood.
So where is this blog going? In some ways I can answer that. I know that after tons of research when I finally find that perfect diaper, brand, etc., I want share it with everyone. I know that I will be sharing parenting decisions that have worked for us, what Jack is currently going through (teething, milestones, eating..), baby food recipes, and random thoughts and stories that come along with motherhood. In some ways I don’t know where this blog is going. What will my successes and failures look like as a parent? What are those really tough days going to look like? The good ones? Will I eventually be introducing a second pregnancy and baby to you guys? (I hope so.)
So while I’m not sure where being a mother is taking me, I do know I’m loving every minute and would love to share it all with you.